| Sticks & Stones:
A focus on bullying
Safety is an ongoing concern for parents who want to keep their children happy and healthy at home, at school and in the playground. Despite the best precautions, however, your child may become the victim of a bully or even act like a bully themselves.
Essentially, bullying is the assertion of power through aggression. Bullies of all ages are defined by repeated, purposeful acts of aggression towards anyone they perceive to be weaker, smaller or more timid.
The aggression can be verbal, physical or, as is often the case with girls, take the form of ostracism, affecting victims physically, emotionally and socially. According to Family Service Canada, about 12% of children are bullies.
Research conducted at Valley Regional Hospital in Nova Scotia found the highest frequency of bullying generally occurs at age 7 (17-20% of bullying); at this age, children are becoming aware of their power and are starting to use it. The incidence of bullying then declines steadily until age 15, when 5-7% of kids are bullied.
Studies indicate that bullying occurs once every seven minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the classroom. Research has also linked bullying to future offending behaviour, indicating that 30-40% of children with aggression problems grow up to have problems with violence as adults. As they grow up, bullies may transfer their abuse of power on the playground to other forms of harassment, violence or abuse.
[Source: News Release 'Launch of Anti-Bullying Public Awareness Campaign']
It is not always easy to tell if your child is being bullied. Some symptoms that parents should look out for include the following:
- Your child gets extremely upset at the thought of going to school.
- Your child says that he or she 'doesn't feel well enough' to attend school every day – this is a frequently used excuse and one that works, as most parents would prefer to let their child stay at home rather than send them to school if they're unwell.
- Your child's normal pattern of behaviour changes – they become very quiet, resentful and more demanding of your time for comfort and protection.
- Your child comes home with torn clothing or even cuts and bruises.
Four basics that you should reinforce with your child if they are being bullied:
1) It's not their fault.
2) They have the right not to be bullied.
3) They should not try to tackle the bully by themselves.
4) They don't have to face it on their own and can come to you for help.
Be proactive about bullying and take action as soon as possible. This means first finding out where the bullying occurred and speaking with the adult in charge. (For example, if the incident took place at school, speak to a teacher or principal; at a community centre, speak with the coach or group leader; at another child's house, speak with the parent.) [Source: RCMP Youth Strategy]
The next steps you take will depend on the outcome of this initial investigation. The Internet is a fantastic resource for more information on how to best intervene if your child is a bully or is being bullied.
Resources:
Many sites cover all aspects of bullying in one location, and often feature separate sections for children and parents or care providers, including tips, animated role-playing games and other activities to raise awareness of bullying issues and help children cope.
Three of the most popular sites that make an ideal place to start are:
Here are other useful links to sites with information and advice about a wide range of bullying topics:
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