As a sexual safety educator for gay and bisexual men, I have found that, for many bisexual men, the concepts of gay and straight are fluid; they tend to identify themselves simply as men who like sex with other men. This knowledge indicated that it was essential to develop alliances and partnerships with women and AIDS projects. We needed to learn from each other about these populations women, and men who have sex with men and women and come to understand how they interact and affect each other.

The creation of links between the gay men's project and the women's project at the AIDS Committee of Ottawa didn't seem to involve the typical struggles. What we had to offer each other and what we shared came as a continual, yet welcome surprise.

Addressing the fact of so-called straight men having sex with men was an area in which we had much to offer. Just as women are often unaware of a male partner's IV drug use, many women are unaware that their "straight" partner is also having sex with men. Once our outreach volunteers developed a greater knowledge of women's health and women's risk of acquiring HIV from men, they ventured into sexually charged venues to address these issues venues where men gathered to meet men and where the women with whom we worked in partnership couldn't go.

Yet these women can return the favour by educating us about domestic violence. After decades of work, women's groups have developed a depth of analysis and experience that is unmatched. Now that we are addressing the issue of domestic violence between same-sex couples, these decades of "women's work" will be invaluable.

Co-operative models of work, while still rare, are being demonstrated by some AIDS service organizations and seem to have application across a broad spectrum of social issues. As we address the linked issues of HIV, sexual health and violence, such co-operation can only strengthen our common struggle for social change.

Michael Graydon works at the Canadian AIDS Society. He can be reached at:

100 Sparks Street, Suite 400
Ottawa, ON, KlP 5B7
Tel: (613) 230-3580, fax: 563-4998

The URL for this document is: http://www.ccsd.ca/v_gaymen.html

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