Vis-à-vis, Spring 1996, Volume 13, Number 3: A National Newsletter on Family Violence
Canadian Council on Social Development
Excerpts from AIDS ALERT
Many heterosexual and gay women and men are in abusive relationships. In these relationships, it
is difficult to insist that a partner use a condom, or to refuse sexual activities that put a person at
high risk for contracting HIV. A person who fears violence when asserting the right to protect her
or his health is further limited from self-protection. For the person in an abusive relationship, the
risk of becoming infected is a concealed yet deadly form of abuse.
HIV+ status brings another aspect of power and control to abusive relationships. The following
concerns may indicate that you are in an abusive relationship.
- Your partner makes you feel ashamed, dirty or like nobody else would want you because
of your HIV status. You feel ashamed about being abused and about being infected, so
you do not seek help.
- Your partner pressures you to do sexual things you do not want to do. Your partner will
not use a condom or latex protection. When you refuse to do sexual things, your partner
puts you down.
- Your partner threatens to disclose your HIV status.
- You are afraid of your partner's temper, so you avoid making him or her angry.
- You worry that your relationship might end, and you would do anything to keep it going.
- You neglect your health needs out of fear (physical and emotional).
Excerpted from AIDS ALERT, Vol. 8, No. 10, (October 1993) and Relationship Quiz,
City of Toronto Public Health (1995).
The URL for this document is: http://www.ccsd.ca/v_alert.html
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